Jan 5
The Voice in my head
I might be crazy, but this voice motivates and guides me
I can’t tell you when everything began. Since I was a child, there has been a presence with me. It didn’t feel intrusive or menacing. All the opposite, that presence gave me comfort and company.
After, my parents divorced and the conflict between them started. I started to experience extreme levels of stress and depression. But, from nowhere I started hearing a calm female voice that started to conform to me. That voice said that things would get better. I just needed to be a little patient. Thanks to her I got through it.
From the beginning, I knew that others couldn’t hear her suing voice. So, I would rarely react to any comments that she would make in public. But, that doesn’t stop me from engaging in conversation with her in my mind or out loud when I am alone.
She is like a guide to me. When I am going through some trouble she counsels me and helps me to find options and solutions. And thanks to her company, I never feel alone. But that made me wonder one day. What is she?
One day curiosity took over and asked her, “Hey, we have been together for a while. But there is something that has bugged me for a while. What are you? Are you like a guarding angel or just a product of my imagination?”.
At first, she didn’t answer. For a moment I thought that I was crazy and all of this was just a creation of my messed up mind. But then she said, “ I am not sure myself. But what I know is that I must stay with you and ensure your wellbeing. Perhaps, that might make me your guarding angel”.
Then another question struck me, “Wait a sec, do you have a name?”. Silence settled again. But, after a couple of minutes she answered, “ I don’t recall ever being given a name. Well, I will give you the honor of naming me”.
Throughout the day I was lost in thought thinking of a name that would fit her perfectly. In end, I found one. And before going to be I told her, “I’ve found a name that fits you perfectly. I’ll call you “Angelica” because you are like my guarding angel. So, what do you think?”.
She giggled and said, “I like it. Now I am Angelica your guarding angel”. She said that in a joyful and optimistic way. Immediately after, I went to sleep as tomorrow I had planned a field trip to a nearby forest. Thankfully, Angelica was with me. She saved my life.
I went alone to the deep of the forest to take pictures of the landscape and the creatures that inhabited it. I was having a great time. Plus, I had supplies to be there for a couple of days. Early in the morning during the second day, I went for a short stroll. But, I was careless when walking by the edge of the valley. I slip on some mud and fell down the hill. My body was getting covered in dirt while small rocks and other debris hit and cut my skin. I come to a sudden stop when hitting a big boulder.
I passed out from the impact and pain. Many hours passed when I woke up to find the aftermath of that incident. I had many broken ribs, cuts, and bruises all over my body. I couldn’t climb back to the top of the hill. The pain wouldn’t allow me to even try. Plus, I could use my phone to call for help, as it broke during the impact. So, I stumbled through the bottom of the forest. When the night fell I laid down against a tree and I tried to get some sleep in hope of recovering some energy.
I even started to think that I would just die there. Perhaps, one day a hiker would find my remains and report them to the authorities. Then, I felt the gentle touch of a hand on my cheek. And the familiar sweet voice of Angelica said, “Oh, dear please don’t give up. You can’t just lay there. Fight, you can do this! Common there is a path ahead of you. You just need to push through”. At one point I could hear her breaking down, “Please don’t leave me! I don’t want to be alone!”.
I harvested all of my strength, stood up, and comforted her, “I won’t do that. Now, where shall I go?”. After a few minutes of following Angelica’s directions, I found a path. Then I arrived at a camp where a couple saw me. My legs gave up and I fell to the ground. The man ran to aid me, while the wife called an ambulance.
I ended up going to a nearby hospital. They treated all of my wounds and I recovered in no time. Although, the bill was a bit high. I was just happy that I made it through. Life is beauty and I shall enjoy it with Angelica by my side.
She is my personal counselor. Every time, I need to talk with someone about my feeling and problems. She has been there. And I am thankful for that.
Keep in mind that this is a work of fiction and it doesn’t have anything to do with me. I had the idea to write it when thinking about different story plots. But, I do enjoy talking with myself.
